There are so many things in this world that are acted upon based on the personal perspective of the person involved. It leads to strife and turmoil, when the reality of the situation is that there are different ways of looking at things and a refusal to see the situation from a different perspective.
Last week I led an exercise using this thought process, the thought of being the observer and taking the time to understand both sides of a situation. It isn't an easy thing to do, especially if one of the players in the situation is yourself. We imagined that we were observing a play, we took a neutral position in observing this play, setting aside our own personal perspectives.
Standing in the middle of the situation we observed both sides. We went over the details and looked a bit deeper. We looked into the reasons behind why each participant in our play made the choices that they did. We were striving for unbiased understanding.
One of my students said she had not realized how hard that was and how much her ego didn't like having to acknowledge that she might have done things differently. Taking the observers stance, when you are one of the participants being observed, isn't an easy thing. It's that long hard look in the mirror that is so hard to do for most of us. We wish it to be the other person's fault, societies fault, anyone's fault other than our own.
Looking at both sides of a situation can help put into perspective what has happened. You still don't have to agree with what happened, you only have to understand. With understanding you can come from a place in your heart and stay the observer and send love to all the participants (including yourself) in the situation.
You might come to realize what you first thought was an attack on your beliefs was actually the other persons own fears of change. Accepting your beliefs might mean accepting that things are changing, so it boils down to fear. You help those with fear with loving understanding, not coming back in a defensive mode.
Take the time to look beyond face value. Spiritual understanding is a powerful tool moving forward. I am not perfect, no one is, but I am trying to be more understanding and come from a place of the observer. I encourage everyone to at least make the attempt to try this, if just once.
