Yes, I am a Reiki Master, yes, I give myself Reiki healing daily, and yes, I still have MS. Each morning, I get up and start the coffee. Then I reach into the refrigerator and get out my injection for that day. I get asked if I've taken my shot yet today and then I get reminded that I haven't "healed" myself yet in case I get any big ideas about not giving myself a shot that day.
Ah, but I think that there is more to healing than tests that come back as "normal". My injections leave site reactions, bruises and hard red areas. The injection sites itch at times and though I move the areas around as much as possible, my upper thighs and my stomach have taken a beating over the years. So I haven't healed myself of MS. I do manage to make my bruises go away in a day. I do manage to make the site reactions less than they used to be. I heal myself in small ways. A miracle would be nice, but it isn't necessary.
I have always had empathy for others. I have even more now than I did before. When you come to me and the tears start to fall because you are just tired of being sick, I've been there before. I've cried and had others hold me as I was so tired of being sick and I wanted it to just "go away". When you discuss the need to plan ahead for trips because medications have to be dealt with, I understand that. I still do that as my medication has to be refrigerated. When you say "I just want to be normal again", I have had those same thoughts run through my head.
Really though, what is normal? I have had an interesting progression with MS. I've been through the steroids, the IVs, the every other day injection, the once a week injection (that one came with a band aid, never a good thing), and now the daily injection. If you were to meet me in person today, you would never know that has been, and still is, a part of my life unless I choose to tell you. This is my normal and I have actually learned to embrace my normal. If it had been any other way, my life would be completely different at this time. I would have taken a different route and it might have taken me that much longer to come to where I am now.
Working with energy, giving to others, gives me a sense of peace that makes my life complete. To be able to see a Client feel better before my eyes, to feel their spirit slowly find peace, heals me. I can't explain it, but I have actually thanked the Universe for MS. It sent me on a different path than the one that I was following, one that has led me to the place that I am today. Looking back, I can pick out certain events that sent me in a different direction than the one that I was currently on. In each case, it was one more turn to get me to where I am today.
I have no regrets in my life. Each step of the way that may have been seen as something to bemoan, in truth gave me something to feel blessed over. I have had a few struggles, don't get me wrong, but I have learned from them all and I don't think that I would do any part of it any differently. Hind sight is 20/20, but for me it just brings clarity to the reasons behind it.
Life is what you make it and it truly is your choice on how you want to live it. I keep this on my bulletin board to remind me of this small fact: "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." ~Victor Frankel ~ It really is a choice and the only person that can make it is you.
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