Thursday, January 12, 2012

Working through my fears ...

I sat down this morning to write a blog, became, hmmm, well I chickened out on the original subject and wrote about something else. Now I am back to write what I should have in the very beginning. The "outside" that I wrote about earlier today helped my mind return to the topic at hand and I know that it is something that I need to work through. Writing about it will help me do just that.

I knew, before we ever set foot in our shop as the "leasee" that there was an entity that lived there. I felt it and I then I asked during meditation and had that fact confirmed. I told the others about what I knew and they never questioned what I told them. They have even embraced that he is there.

So, what is the problem?? Well, it's me. I know that he's there, he's been there all along. I am fine with it when I am there with the others, when I am meditating, and when I am giving Reiki. There are times that I have been in a full-blown panic attack knowing that I was going to be there by myself. I have realized that it has something to do with my early years. I know that he will not harm us, I know that he is very interested in everything that we do, so this fear makes no sense.

While giving a Reiki treatment to a Client I knew that he was at the door to my office, asking permission to enter and watch. I gave him that permission. There was no fear, just a sense of peace. In that instance, my Client was also aware that he was there. Then I noticed during Reiki treatments that I kept hearing a very steady breathing that blended in with my music. At first I thought that it was something in the music that I had missed, then I thought that it might be my Client as they fall asleep often and the breathing is of someone that is sleeping soundly. Then, I heard it while giving a distance Reiki treatment, I was the only one in my office. It wasn't the music, though that didn't click at first. I heard it again giving a treatment to a Client in my office that afternoon. I heard it again a few days later when Jen and I were meditating together downstairs.

I didn't mention it to her at the time, again I thought that maybe she was doing some strange deep breathing thing. We were blindfolded so I couldn't "peak" to see what was going on. When I finally started putting a few things together, I asked her if she had heard the breathing. She had and she thought that it was me! This was the first time that she had heard it.

We decided to move a very large and very heavy desk to the opposite side of our center. It didn't slide across the carpeting at all and we were pushing and straining to get it to move even an inch. Suddenly, it took off and moved so easy across the carpet that we almost ran to keep up with it! Jen and I had to move it again the next day as it was too close to the wall. This time we actually asked for help moving it, and the two of us slid it over about four inches with ease.

Wednesday, during dance class, Julie and I (my other partner) both saw him. He was standing in the hallway watching us dance. It was just his shadow figure standing there, but his outline was clear. It took a bit for me to gain the courage to tell Julie that he had been there, she told me that she had seen him as well.

I have always had a fear of seeing spirits. At times it has been almost paralyzing and it is completely unreasonable. I know that it is. I know that he means no harm at all and when I am giving Reiki or meditating, I am in a very present state of mind and in that state of mind I have no fear. I have received messages from those  on the other side during meditation and Reiki and I have passed them on, again with no fear associated with it because of my state of mind when I have received these messages.

I feel that this is something that I am supposed to be doing, helping people deal with losing those they love and helping with the communication. How can I do that if I get so much fear in the waking world of possibly having contact with a spirit? I think that he is here to help me get over this fear. To work through it in my mind and in my heart. I realize that the fear is completely ego based. I have no doubt of that.

I have started using new words, instead of "why am I so afraid?" I've been saying, "I embrace the spirit that lives at the center". The panic attack stage has gone away, but I still feel my heart beating hard when I am going to be opening the door to the center and I am alone. I ask Archangel Michael for protection when I go in by myself. I did that yesterday on my way in, knowing that I would be the first one in by over 1/2 hour. I smiled when I saw that one of the dance students was very early for class and waiting at the door for me. I didn't enter alone. I wonder at that as it was yesterday that I saw the gentleman for the first time. Was Archangel Michael aware that the gentleman was planning on allowing us to see him that day (by us I mean only Julie, Jen, and myself) so he gave me someone at first so that I didn't see him alone?

I see spirits, deceased loved ones, and angels during my Angel readings, behind my closed eyes. I truly feel that when I get past this strange fear, I will be able to see them with my eyes open.

I am running again ..

I am getting ready to go out for what I refer to as a "run". My son calls it jogging at best, maybe even a fast walk. He's probably correct. I try though, and that's all that matters. I was in much better shape a few years ago, but then life seemed to get in the way and I got out of the habit. It IS a habit, exercise, a very good habit.

I am getting constant reminders now, that I need to be outside. Not that I should be outside, but that I need to be outside. I know the reasons why, I think better when I'm outside and moving. I feel better when I'm outside and moving. I am more connected with myself when I am outside. I have written before in my personal journal, that outside is my church and the birds are part of my choir.

That last sentence makes me smile as my Dad reminds me often that growing up, when he needed help around the farm, I could never be found! I never left the inside of the house, which isn't exactly correct. I did have a way of disappearing though, when Dad needed help. It seemed that my older sister or my brother were much better suited for that. Dad had/has a temper and that was what I was disappearing from, conflict is not something that I am good at. It was much easier to just be "invisible" long enough for him to have someone else to help him.

Even now, I need prodding at times to go outside. Until I get back into my routine of running again, it will be an effort and a reminder on my part to go out and do it. I always feel better when I do, even if it's pouring the rain and I get soaked. Why is it that even knowing something will make you feel better, you still put it off? I guess it's like eating that healthier diet, it just seems to be something that can be done at more convenient time.

I can hear the ring in my ears, the one that is telling me "outside, outside". I know that it's time to go. I will feel better, more alive and more in tune with the world around me. This is one addiction that I need to get again, the outside addiction. Nature has so much to teach me, if I only listen. So, outside I go, I'm ready for some rosey red cheeks.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Missed Opportunities

Do you believe in runners? People sent by the Angels to tell you something, teach you something, or just make you aware that the Angels are around? I do. I truly feel that they are being sent to me, and in saying that, I realized that I missed a very big runner just the other day.

All three of us were in the Center that day. Julie had just finished with a Client, Jen was outside getting some air, and I was sitting at the desk finishing up some bookwork on the computer. I didn't hear the gentleman come into the Center, I just looked up and he was standing at the beginning of the dance/yoga floor. I guess it was because I knew that Jen was outside, so the sound of our bell above the door wasn't audible to me. Julie spoke to  him first. This is an unsusual event, to have a male stick around or even wander in without an appointment as our "window" is filled with belly dancing costumes! It isn't a manly place, though Julie and I do have male Clients.

Normally, when a male wanders in, he asks a few questions and then he wanders out again. This time, he just kept walking in and perched himself upon one of the bar stools at our desk and began conversing with us. Jen came back in and walked around the desk to the Center's computer and I continued at my computer. Julie was sitting on the other bar stool across from the gentleman. I will not lie, we were a bit uncomfortable as we had no idea what it was that he wanted. He mentioned how easy it would be to rob us, we just looked at each other and said that it would be hard actually as there was no money there.

Then he started to tell us about a wave in Australia that killed and injured several people. He wanted Jen to look it up on his facebook page. We told him that wouldn't be a good idea, for him to give us his facebook information, so Jen looked it up through a search engine. None of us had heard of this disaster, but he was correct, it was there for us to see. He continued on to tell us about another view that showed people being killed and swept away. We said that we would rather not look at that footage. He asked us if it didn't make us want to go and help those people.

This was the strangest encounter that I think I've had in recent years. He stayed for a very long time. We were uncomfortable the entire time. He kept talking about things that were bizarre to say the least. The things in this world that were happening, people that were hurt, and asking us if we didn't want to do something about it. He kept asking us "what are you about?" He said several things that COULD have led into a spiritual conversation had I, we, just opened our mouths and let the words fall out. If I had spoken my truth. Instead, I kept working very hard on my computer bookwork, wishing that he would leave. He started talking about 2012 and changes in the world. We all were making the attempt to tune him out by this point. He left soon afterward, riding off on his bicycle.

I felt, after I had a chance to think about it. That I actually missed a runner. I believe that he was sent, in this uncomfortable manner, so that I could see beyond what my eyes were telling me and I could speak my truth. I made a judgement and I feel that in hindsight, I was wrong. I have been working on the lesson of speaking my truth and I just remained very quiet.

Upon talking with Jen and Julie I realized that both of them were feeling the same way, that they, too, had missed a runner. Each of us feel that he was there for a different reason, but we each had a personal reason that he was there as a messenger for us.

Never judge anyone because of outside appearances. Look a bit deeper than that. Don't ignore the voice in your head that reminds you of someone this person seems like and then ignore the voice and let your human ego take charge. I missed an opportunity the other day to help someone that was looking for something other than Reiki, Massage, or dance. Something drew him into our Center and I think that we failed to provide what was needed. I also believe that we are never judged in such instances, but that the opportunity will arise again, a different runner will appear, and I will do better next time.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Marsha and the Angels ....

One of the most amazing people that I have met in recent times is Marsha Bennie, her business name is Petals on Wings. She has the most contagious laugh! I enjoy talking with her, learning from her and the messages that she relays to me. Marsha has a very strong connection with angels and I greatly appreciate her/their insight.

I had an Angel Reading the other day with Marsha. I knew that it would be a special one once again as she told me at the very beginning, the Angels were being very specific with me and this reading. When she told me that they had specified the exact deck to use, Doreen Virtue's Messages from Your Angels, I had to smile as that is the exact deck that I use.

I enjoy talking with Marsha, she is such a happy person, filled with life and love. Even over the phone, her personality comes through, her honesty and her true love for what she is doing. The Angels are very active in her life, they are very active in my life as well. I already knew that and I embrace those relationships. Everything that Marsha talked to me about wasn't what most might think of as a "reading". This isn't a crystal ball looking into the future, it is an honest look into the center of your being, with answers to questions that are helpful and filled with love. The answers come from the Angels, Marsha passes them along and at times will add her own perspective on what was said. I know that it's her own perspective as she is very upfront about the times that the words are coming from her own thoughts.

I had my reading in my center (we are calling the shop the center now) and towards the end I heard one of my friends talking with someone else. She and I were the only ones in the shop at that time, so I had no idea who she would be talking with. I had just heard from Marsha that Archangel Michael was helping me with my business and now, I heard this little voice downstairs talking with my friend.

When I went downstairs, the sweetest little lady was sitting in one of our big chairs having a nice conversation with Jen. To my surprise, she was actually there to see me. Oh, how quickly those angels send runners to help with your business! She wanted to talk with me about my Reiki Share. She said that she would love to come to it, but did I realize that I had scheduled it to end after the last bus run on Sunday? That if I made the time earlier, more people would be able to attend as there would be bus service. I did not know that as I had never even thought about people riding the bus. I told her that I had no problem moving the time to begin at noon and that I would do so right then. She then very sweetly pointed out that I should change the time on the sign on our outside bulletin board to reflect the new time frame as well. I hadn't thought of that, again, thank you!

This was one of the first times that I recognized the guidance being given to me so quickly. I greatly appreciate all of the help that I am receiving, from both the human and the angelic world. The angels said to talk with Marsha and I did. Now I have a better understanding of what I need to do within myself to live the life that I have been moving toward for such a long time. It is within myself that I need to do the work. Everything that I need is already there, I just need to have the confidence and self-assurance to trust that very simple fact. I need to look to the angel on my left, the blue angel of communication, and learn to speak my truth. I need to realize that I am a powerful woman, with the ability to handle situations with the right words, words that won't cause conflict. To not only know what I want, but to realize that I have the right to achieve it and it doesn't hurt anyone else in the process.

I have a support team that is more amazing than anything that I could have put together on my own. The coolest thing is, they have all just appeared in my life (or in the case of some, were there all along) and together we make such a wonderful team.

Now, I need to take a walk outside. I need to be in nature as it clears my head. Life is amazing.

For more information on Marsha, please check out her website at www.petalsonwings.com.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Keep an Open Mind

I have noticed as I travel this journey of mine, that there are people that judge by appearances only. I don't mean judge me, though I am sure that there are those that do just that, but judge in general. Everyone has their own issues and they deal with those issues in different ways. These are issues that they are trying to fix in any way that seems to be the correct way for them.

There are the main stream ways, these are accepted by most and receive approval from those around them as the way to improve their issues. Conventional means of problem solving, whether it be medical or physiological, are wonderful and I completely encourage them. I use them myself and I have great respect for those fields. I chose to work with them and not against them.

I don't understand why there are those that disapprove so readily and loudly of anyone that is using a method different or in addition to, the one that they see as the normal route to take. I have heard the word crazy used at times for those seeking a non-traditional method of healing to go along with the traditional methods. Why is this crazy? Just because you don't understand it and don't wish to understand, that does not make it crazy.

The human mind is the strongest part of the healing process. I have a friend whose husband was injured in the Vietnam war. She said that he lay there and watched as people came in and it was confusing at times. Those that came in with seemingly mild injuries would die while others that came in with injuries so severe, there was no way that they should have lived, but they did. The difference in the injured people came down to the strength of their minds. If they gave up, so did their bodies. If their minds were strong and they were determined, then they worked with the people trying to save them. They gave strength of will to the healing and I believe helped heal themselves.

The physical body can be understood by our scientists, the mechanics of it have been defined and it is understood that when this happens it creates this other thing. The mind is an entirely different matter. The brain, the physical part of the mind, can be studied and categorized. The mind though??? How to study the human mind, the thoughts, the processes, the enigmas that can be found there. Just because something cannot be explained in scientific proofs, does not mean that it doesn't exist. The mind and its thoughts exist. Everyone is aware of that as we all have them and need no scientific experiments to prove that small fact. The strength of our mind and why it is different from one person to the next, is something that is still being worked on.

What I do, giving Reiki, works with the areas that scientists are just now starting to examine. Cameras have picked up our auras, things not seen with the naked eye. Researchers have done studies on amputees and through MRI's have realized that the missing limb still has a magnetic outline of it that shows up in the films. The body remembers all of its parts, even after they've been removed.

Just because someone is using a method of healing that you don't personally approve of, please don't label them as crazy. When you can see the results and see progress being made, then embrace and rejoice with them. There are many wondrous things in this world and being open to them can add so much to our personal lives. All that I ever ask anyone is to just keep an open mind.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Ethereal Touch Reiki: Happy New Year!

Ethereal Touch Reiki: Happy New Year!: Happy New Year everyone! It was a special night last night, though I did miss my friends and business partners (I loved the picture that you...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! It was a special night last night, though I did miss my friends and business partners (I loved the picture that you sent at midnight) it was a night spent with my family. All of my children except my youngest, who was there in spirit as Wyoming is such a long way from here, were with me New Year's Eve.

It was so nice to just, be. Playing "Apples to Apples" with my kids, their spouses, and my grandkids was the perfect evening. We moved on to pictionary after that and before we knew it, it was 2012! I really didn't think that I would make it to see the New Year as I get tired quickly at night. It just goes to show you that with the right company, the tiredness just disappears.

The perfect way to bring in the new year. I have a good feeling about this coming year. It holds the promise of new beginnings. Rebuilding our shop is the beginning. Building my business will continue. Meeting new people, learning new things, and spending time with those I love are all things that I look forward to in this new year.

The sun is currently shining (I saw currently as I am in Washington and that is always subject to change at the drop of a hat!) and the day is bright. I hope that all of you have the best of years in 2012. I am truly blessed to have the family that I do, both my immediate family and my extended family (that includes a few that I've adopted into my life). I am proud of all of you and I look forward to spending the next year and several more after that with you.