Fear is a Learned Behavior

I wrote in an earlier blog of my fear of the unknown in the spiritual world. I am fine with seeing people that have passed on, spiritual beings that want to help, and the Angels when I am meditating or giving Reiki treatment. At other times I wrote that I am afraid that they might actually appear before me! I have had a few close encounters lately and I’m working through them.

My girlfriends and I had decided that I must have had some type of encounter in my younger years that has caused a blockage for me in this area. I no longer think that this is the case. During the past few days I have heard a message no less than three different times. That message is that fear is a learned behavior. The message has come from different sources, but it is always the same message. The Angels are very good at sending messages if you are paying attention.

Upon thinking about this, I have realized that I did learn this behavior. My Dad has told stories all of my life about different spirit encounters within his/my family. They have always been told in a manner of a scary bedtime story, not in a way that would instill a sense that this was a normal happening. I can clearly remember one such encounter as I lay in bed and listened to the steady footsteps coming up our stairs and I kept thinking over and over that whatever it was, please go into my sister’s bedroom rather than mine! The footsteps did go into her bedroom and I will never forget the look in her face when she walked into my room about 15 minutes later and told me what happened. She was white with fear and I slept with a night light for the next five years. She insists now that it was a bad dream, but unless I was part of that bad dream, it was a very real encounter.

So, my fear is a behavior that I have learned. There have been a few things that have come to light in the last few days about what I fear in meeting in the Center. It is interesting to note that I have been unable to get into the Center since these things have been revealed to me due to a snowstorm that we are having. Do I think that the snow was created just for me to have time to deal with this fear? No, I don’t think that I have that much power, but I do believe that the timing of everything was set to coincide with the storm so that I have time to work through this fear before I next go to the Center.

A learned behavior can be unlearned. I have the best possible help with the unlearning of things. I have been reminded daily, several times a day that I am not alone. Archangel Michael is always with me. I have asked for guidance and help and he is there to do that. He has made a personal appearance, standing beside my bed and I knew that he was there as I saw him. I had no fear. My poor dogs on the other hand were beside themselves as they couldn’t get to me due to the gate that keeps them in the dining room area.

I am working on this fear thing and I believe that it will be at a much better level by the time the snow dissipates enough to go back into the Center. I can not move forward with where I need to be, until I unlearn a behavior. I fully intend to do that.

Is it a Coincidence??

I am not sure that I believe in coincidences. There are too many times that things happen and in hindsight you can see the path that leads up to you being in the right place at the right time for them to occur. I think that there are times that an opportunity presents itself, but where it leads depends upon the choices that you make at that time. Free will comes into play, and if you make a choice that leads you in a direction other than the one that would be most optimal for you, sometimes you take a very long detour before that particular choice comes up again. Make no mistake though, I believe that there are certain things that we are meant to do and situations keep coming up that help point us to the path we should be taking.

If we keep using our free will to make choices that aren’t exactly in keeping with our life purpose, we just keep making these detours and it can become a vicious cycle until we finally make the choice that leads us in the direction of our agreed upon  path.

Do I think that it’s a coincidence that when I am directed by Archangel Michael to seek out Connie Dohan’s help with a situation, that she should suddenly start offering an overnight retreat at her house?? No, I don’t. The night that I first saw Connie’s new class, I had a dream of an airplane. I had the same dream the next night. Then, during meditation with Jen, I saw the airplane again. I knew that I was supposed to be going to Connie’s home for this retreat. I talked with my sister and she is excited for me to be there to see her. It is not a coincidence that she and Connie live in the same town. I talked with my husband and he gave the green light to sign up, which was amazing. I do believe that I am headed Connie’s way in March.

When I pay attention to the things around me, I seem to make the choices that lead me in the right direction. I continue on my journey with no interruptions and the path is clear. The things that I need appear as I need them and am ready for them. I had to smile at that as it would seem that I am being pushed just a bit for something that I might never have been ready for. It seems that has been taken from my hands and I will learn to accept what is. I have been given several tools to help with that adjustment and I think that they are helping.

The other day while in the Center, Archangel Michael left me a feather. It was in a spot that I’ve never been in the center, but I know that it was left for me to find. I know that he is with me and that this was left to remind me of that and to also remind me that I am always safe.

My journey continues with some new and interesting twists to it. Where this twist will lead I have no idea, but I am pretty sure that it will not be boring. My best advice to you is to watch for the signs, don’t question them, but follow your instincts. When you chose the road that allows you to continue in a circle, you will never grow and your potential will never be met. It isn’t always comfortable, making the choice to take the road that is open in front of you, but it will never be boring!

Working through my fears ...

I sat down this morning to write a blog, became, hmmm, well I chickened out on the original subject and wrote about something else. Now I am back to write what I should have in the very beginning. The "outside" that I wrote about earlier today helped my mind return to the topic at hand and I know that it is something that I need to work through. Writing about it will help me do just that.

I knew, before we ever set foot in our shop as the "leasee" that there was an entity that lived there. I felt it and I then I asked during meditation and had that fact confirmed. I told the others about what I knew and they never questioned what I told them. They have even embraced that he is there.

So, what is the problem?? Well, it's me. I know that he's there, he's been there all along. I am fine with it when I am there with the others, when I am meditating, and when I am giving Reiki. There are times that I have been in a full-blown panic attack knowing that I was going to be there by myself. I have realized that it has something to do with my early years. I know that he will not harm us, I know that he is very interested in everything that we do, so this fear makes no sense.

While giving a Reiki treatment to a Client I knew that he was at the door to my office, asking permission to enter and watch. I gave him that permission. There was no fear, just a sense of peace. In that instance, my Client was also aware that he was there. Then I noticed during Reiki treatments that I kept hearing a very steady breathing that blended in with my music. At first I thought that it was something in the music that I had missed, then I thought that it might be my Client as they fall asleep often and the breathing is of someone that is sleeping soundly. Then, I heard it while giving a distance Reiki treatment, I was the only one in my office. It wasn't the music, though that didn't click at first. I heard it again giving a treatment to a Client in my office that afternoon. I heard it again a few days later when Jen and I were meditating together downstairs.

I didn't mention it to her at the time, again I thought that maybe she was doing some strange deep breathing thing. We were blindfolded so I couldn't "peak" to see what was going on. When I finally started putting a few things together, I asked her if she had heard the breathing. She had and she thought that it was me! This was the first time that she had heard it.

We decided to move a very large and very heavy desk to the opposite side of our center. It didn't slide across the carpeting at all and we were pushing and straining to get it to move even an inch. Suddenly, it took off and moved so easy across the carpet that we almost ran to keep up with it! Jen and I had to move it again the next day as it was too close to the wall. This time we actually asked for help moving it, and the two of us slid it over about four inches with ease.

Wednesday, during dance class, Julie and I (my other partner) both saw him. He was standing in the hallway watching us dance. It was just his shadow figure standing there, but his outline was clear. It took a bit for me to gain the courage to tell Julie that he had been there, she told me that she had seen him as well.

I have always had a fear of seeing spirits. At times it has been almost paralyzing and it is completely unreasonable. I know that it is. I know that he means no harm at all and when I am giving Reiki or meditating, I am in a very present state of mind and in that state of mind I have no fear. I have received messages from those  on the other side during meditation and Reiki and I have passed them on, again with no fear associated with it because of my state of mind when I have received these messages.

I feel that this is something that I am supposed to be doing, helping people deal with losing those they love and helping with the communication. How can I do that if I get so much fear in the waking world of possibly having contact with a spirit? I think that he is here to help me get over this fear. To work through it in my mind and in my heart. I realize that the fear is completely ego based. I have no doubt of that.

I have started using new words, instead of "why am I so afraid?" I've been saying, "I embrace the spirit that lives at the center". The panic attack stage has gone away, but I still feel my heart beating hard when I am going to be opening the door to the center and I am alone. I ask Archangel Michael for protection when I go in by myself. I did that yesterday on my way in, knowing that I would be the first one in by over 1/2 hour. I smiled when I saw that one of the dance students was very early for class and waiting at the door for me. I didn't enter alone. I wonder at that as it was yesterday that I saw the gentleman for the first time. Was Archangel Michael aware that the gentleman was planning on allowing us to see him that day (by us I mean only Julie, Jen, and myself) so he gave me someone at first so that I didn't see him alone?

I see spirits, deceased loved ones, and angels during my Angel readings, behind my closed eyes. I truly feel that when I get past this strange fear, I will be able to see them with my eyes open.

Marsha and the Angels ....

One of the most amazing people that I have met in recent times is Marsha Bennie, her business name is Petals on Wings. She has the most contagious laugh! I enjoy talking with her, learning from her and the messages that she relays to me. Marsha has a very strong connection with angels and I greatly appreciate her/their insight.

I had an Angel Reading the other day with Marsha. I knew that it would be a special one once again as she told me at the very beginning, the Angels were being very specific with me and this reading. When she told me that they had specified the exact deck to use, Doreen Virtue's Messages from Your Angels, I had to smile as that is the exact deck that I use.

I enjoy talking with Marsha, she is such a happy person, filled with life and love. Even over the phone, her personality comes through, her honesty and her true love for what she is doing. The Angels are very active in her life, they are very active in my life as well. I already knew that and I embrace those relationships. Everything that Marsha talked to me about wasn't what most might think of as a "reading". This isn't a crystal ball looking into the future, it is an honest look into the center of your being, with answers to questions that are helpful and filled with love. The answers come from the Angels, Marsha passes them along and at times will add her own perspective on what was said. I know that it's her own perspective as she is very upfront about the times that the words are coming from her own thoughts.

I had my reading in my center (we are calling the shop the center now) and towards the end I heard one of my friends talking with someone else. She and I were the only ones in the shop at that time, so I had no idea who she would be talking with. I had just heard from Marsha that Archangel Michael was helping me with my business and now, I heard this little voice downstairs talking with my friend.

When I went downstairs, the sweetest little lady was sitting in one of our big chairs having a nice conversation with Jen. To my surprise, she was actually there to see me. Oh, how quickly those angels send runners to help with your business! She wanted to talk with me about my Reiki Share. She said that she would love to come to it, but did I realize that I had scheduled it to end after the last bus run on Sunday? That if I made the time earlier, more people would be able to attend as there would be bus service. I did not know that as I had never even thought about people riding the bus. I told her that I had no problem moving the time to begin at noon and that I would do so right then. She then very sweetly pointed out that I should change the time on the sign on our outside bulletin board to reflect the new time frame as well. I hadn't thought of that, again, thank you!

This was one of the first times that I recognized the guidance being given to me so quickly. I greatly appreciate all of the help that I am receiving, from both the human and the angelic world. The angels said to talk with Marsha and I did. Now I have a better understanding of what I need to do within myself to live the life that I have been moving toward for such a long time. It is within myself that I need to do the work. Everything that I need is already there, I just need to have the confidence and self-assurance to trust that very simple fact. I need to look to the angel on my left, the blue angel of communication, and learn to speak my truth. I need to realize that I am a powerful woman, with the ability to handle situations with the right words, words that won't cause conflict. To not only know what I want, but to realize that I have the right to achieve it and it doesn't hurt anyone else in the process.

I have a support team that is more amazing than anything that I could have put together on my own. The coolest thing is, they have all just appeared in my life (or in the case of some, were there all along) and together we make such a wonderful team.

Now, I need to take a walk outside. I need to be in nature as it clears my head. Life is amazing.

For more information on Marsha, please check out her website at www.petalsonwings.com.